Lipstick on a Pig

It isn't a very attractive vision that springs to mind when the phrase "lipstick on a pig" is used. While it is generally applied to policies rather than people, there is uproar if the policy has come from a female, rather than a male protagonist, so that the "lipstick" remark appears to be directed at her, rather than at the policies. And when a male politician slips the lipstick phrase into a major speech, he shouldn't be surprised if the media scent blood. You'd hope (in vain) that reporting political speeches would be about policies not personalities, but sadly it's more about the opportunity for sensationalism and controversy.
It all started with John McCain using the phrase to describe Hillary Clinton's health-care plan, and then when Barack Obama used the same phrase to describe the Republicans' attempts to repackage themselves the Democratic presidential candidate was immediately accused of sexism.
In the greater scheme of things, it's pathetic; as if there weren't more important things to discuss. It's made all the more pathetic when you reflect that neither candidate was talking about the opposing vice-presidential candidate but, in both cases, about their policies. One suspects that if they'd used the English expression and accused the other side of trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, then the National Association of Handbag Manufacturers would have been up in arms.
So, if you've got to make a speech, what do you do? Do you avoid anything that might so much as brush against the sensitive toes of the other party's feet, or do you let them have both barrels in the belief that all publicity is good publicity?
Well, first, get your story straight - because you can be sure that someone will be looking for a totally different angle from the one that's in your mind. Secondly, practice your sound-bites, make sure you can encapsulate what you want to say in one sentence. Thirdly, have a colleague rehearse all the difficult questions with you in advance, so that you've worked out your responses. Finally, to keep the Cockney porcine metaphor - keep off the pork pies. If you really have screwed up, come clean, because if you don't you'll get found out eventually, and that's something the press, the other side and the public at large will never forgive you for.